Today millions of families have to figure out the best way to deal with life, children and divorce. The process of divorce is inherently destructive so it is important that divorced parents takes steps to rebuild their family structure after the divorce has been finalized. This rebuilding phase will determine how successful the family unit will be and how close they will remain as the years go by.
Identify Immediate Needs
During the rebuilding phase after a divorce families need to start by identifying the immediate needs of their family. These needs can related to physical needs, such as finding a place to live or establishing adequate monthly income, or they can relate to emotional issues, such as depression or anxiety. Immediate needs have an urgency and will need to be handled before moving on to the other steps in the rebuilding process.
Establishing New Traditions
Establishing new traditions is an important step in the rebuilding and healing process. A divorce makes old family traditions difficult as one parent will always be missing. It is because of this that kids may feel strange practicing these old traditions. A good way to make holidays special and less stressful is to establish new traditions with each parent. For example, the kids can go skiing with their dad over Christmas and have a tree decorating party with their Mom before Christmas.
Create a Set of Family Rules
One of the conflicts that can develop when you get divorced is that the kids are given two sets of rules to live by. They will have one set of rules at their dad’s house and one set of rules at their mom’s house. This not only makes it difficult for kids to understand what is appropriate behavior and what is not, but it also sets up the family for conflict, particularly between parenting partners. To fix this problem the divorced family needs to set up a uniform set of rules that will apply to both households.
Build a Support Team
Every family, whether married or divorced, needs a support team to help them make it through the rough times. When you get divorced it is important to establish a support team that can lend a hand when things get overwhelming for one or both parents. This support team can be made up of family members, friends and other appropriate people.
You can also get advice from others who have experienced divorce at the children and divorce blog.
Create a Visual Schedule
Confusion about who is supposed to what when is another issue that causes divorced families problems. One way to solve this problem is to develop a visual schedule. This schedule will include information about whose house the child will be at during each day of the week, special activities that the child is participating in, who will be responsible for picking up and dropping off the child from each activity and contact information for parents, kids and emergency contact people.
Rebuilding your family after a divorce is a process that needs to be completed. This process will take time and it will take some planning. Those families that put in a lot of effort into the rebuilding process for their divorced family will have fewer challenges to deal with than families that fail to invest time in planning out their family’s rebuilding process.